Am I Worth it?

 I decided after doing 'Canvassed Emotions' that I really like the way the piece worked as a whole so I decided to use more old canvases and recycle them into a new piece. I decided that I was going to do the same as I had done for 'Canvassed Emotions' and had the backs of canvases facing forward and in the middle canvas have a section of colour that is hidden by the other canvases representing different emotions but with this piece they were dulled down a lot and I went for the green-grey colour as to me it feels emotionless and accurately represents the feeling of emptiness that you have when you suffer with a mental illness. 

This work incorporates all three of my artists with Cornelia's installation style, with Machowski's expressive painting style and Hains' collage with the collaged canvases. I also wanted to put a very hard to see message in this piece and a question that I ask myself 24/7 of 'Am I worth it?' and whether I deserve to do what I do and whether people should bother with me and this is where the title of the piece comes from.

 I decided to do this message in thread so that from far away it is very hard to see and almost seems silent in a sense like someone wanting to shout out for help but is either silenced by society or themselves thinking they're being silly and should be silent about their problems. In essence have to find the meaning yourself but looking really hard and as it being a rhetorical question it allows for self questioning and I feel it can be very thought provoking, as the canvases themselves are almost windows for reflection and self questioning. I then also took more high quality close up photos of the textures and parts of the piece that interested me and perhaps use them for transfer techniques or as photos for doing observational drawings from which are displayed in this post.

After doing this piece earlier today it gave me an idea for a final piece which would incorporate another artist into my work called Cornelia Parker who is famous for her piece of work called 'Cold Dark Matter' in which she collected parts of an exploded shed and rebuilt it and hung the parts from the ceiling to create a 'snapshot' in time just after the shed had been exploded. 

I had the idea to do a piece similar to this but on a massive scale and have a light in the middle of it so that when the light is shined in the middle of the room the questions and words are reflected onto the wall and in essence would create another piece and I would like to try this, however this idea might be to ambitious for the amount of time given to us including outside studio time, so it is something I'd have to seriously think about if I wanted to do it as it might look incredible however would need a lot of dedication and effort to pull it off.